The Winning Side Page 7

  “But I had to learn that it isn’t a sign of weakness.” Trish cupped Raven’s face with her palm. “Raven, whether you’re a man or a woman, sometimes we aren’t equipped to deal with what life throws at us. It has nothing to do with our determination, but how we learn to deal with those issues.”

  “Is that why you’ve tried to get me to seek help before?”

  “Yes,” she admitted, tears filling her eyes. “Not because I think you’re weak or a failure… because I knew you weren’t able to do it on your own.” She shook her head. “Time and time again, you refused to listen to me, and I knew if you wouldn’t do it on your own terms, it’d be a waste of time.”

  Raven remained silent for a moment, his upper body rising and falling in long strides. I wanted to see the expression on his face. Know what he was thinking. What demons he was fighting. Let him know that I’d be there to support and cheer for him as he worked on resolving those issues. That he didn’t have to be embarrassed and I thought no less of him.

  “That explains why the rehab didn’t work,” he muttered in a low voice.

  My heart ached and my body slumped against his. I wrapped my arms around him and silently cried for him on the inside. Raven had been too proud, too determined, to do it on his own, and that caused him to fail. If only he hadn’t been so hardheaded, maybe he wouldn’t be where he was today.

  Ugh. Men.

  She wiped his face with a tissue. “Please don’t get mad about what I’m going to say.”

  He nodded, remaining silent. “If you don’t come to terms with the fact that you need help from a professional, you will continue to battle this for the rest of your life. You’re getting another chance, Raven, to finish your education, to play football — something you love dearly — and you’ve worked too hard not to see that dream come true. If you can just face the fact that you can’t do it on your own, I know the counselor will be able to help.”

  Raven sniffed. “I know, Mom. I’m trying.”

  “Don’t try. Just do it.” She gave his face a little shake. “Focus all that determination on whatever that therapist recommends, whether it’s advice, recommendations, tactics, or prayers. Because I know you can do it.”

  “I know I can.” Raven turned around and took my hand, holding it tightly.

  “Because if you don’t, everything you’ve worked for will be for nothing. There won’t be another chance, Raven.”

  “I know. They told me this was it. No more chances. I have to see a counselor weekly and submit to a drug test.” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

  “That’s not so bad,” I reassured him.

  “I don’t know about you, but I don’t like someone watching me piss in a cup.”

  I bit my lip. I hadn’t thought about the humiliation associated with the testing. “At least it’s just one time.”

  He cast me dubious stare. “It’s weekly. And I’ll also have random breathalyzer tests.”

  “But you’re not an alcoholic.”

  “Tell them that.” He rolled his eyes. “All they see are the medical reports and assume if I’m drinking, then I’m doing drugs.”

  I brushed away a few pieces of lint that had fallen onto his shoulder from the tissue. “Then you’ll just have to prove them wrong.” I hoped to God that I was right and he was willing to follow through with their requests. He was at their mercy.

  “I know. And don’t worry.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. “I’m not going to let either of you down. I want to do this. I’ll see that therapist and allow them to help me this time.”

  Hearing those words were like hitting every right chord on the piano. I suddenly had a dying urge to take Raven and play every happy song for him as we sang at the top of our lungs.

  He turned toward me, eyes red and glossy from crying. I wanted to kiss every tear that he’d ever shed. Kiss him until he felt nothing and had no remembrance of whatever had pulled him to the ground. My heart swelled, overcome by the problems he had faced, and the pain he’d endured. I knew with the help of his therapist he would win.

  We would win.

  I smiled as tears dripped from eyes. “I love you and I’m going to be right here, by your side, every step of the way.”

  “You promise?”

  “With all my heart.”

  “Good. Because I want you with me. It’s all or nothing, baby.”

  “Then you have all of me.”

  Σ

  Chapter 7

  We had a great lunch, celebrating the success of Raven’s news. I could tell Raven was well on his way to accepting what he had to do. The way he talked to his friends, it was obvious football was in his blood. It was his life. And if he wanted it, then he was going to have to swallow his pride and allow a therapist to help him. The part that made me the happiest was that he wanted me by his side, and I knew that I was equally as important to him. It was all I ever wanted and asked for from any guy.

  The question was — would it last?

  I was relieved that his mom had asked him those tough questions. I wasn’t sure if he would’ve completely opened up and told me everything. Something inside of me hinted that there was a little more to the story.

  “I’ll call you later, Mom.” Raven opened the car door for Trish.

  “You better,” she warned, using her index finger for emphasis. “Lexi, make sure he’s on time for his first appointment.”

  “I will,” I assured her.

  Raven closed the car door and we waved to her as she drove off. Josh darted past us as he chased Shelby in the parking lot. She giggled, playing hard to get before he scooped her into his arms. Seeing the way they interacted with each other was cute, but sometimes it was a little much. Were they always that happy? In the time I’d spent at Raven’s, I never saw them fight or get angry with one another. I wanted to know what their recipe to success was because Raven and I needed it.

  Just as Trish exited the apartment complex, a silver car that looked like my dad’s entered the parking lot. I started to turn when I did a double take.

  “Come on.” Raven pulled on my hand, but I didn’t budge.

  “Just a sec.” I stared at the car, trying to get a better glimpse of the driver.

  “What’s wrong?” Raven looked at me and then followed my line of sight. “Who’s that?”

  “My dad.” I shuffled my feet, unsure of whether to run inside and lock the door or run toward him. I hated getting pulled in two directions at once. Not only was it confusing but also heart wrenching.

  “Shit. What’s he doing here?” Raven squared his shoulders and puffed out his chest. His jaw tightened and his nostrils flared. He eased me behind him, clearly trying to protect me.

  The car stopped a few feet in front of us. My dad rested his hands on top of the steering wheel and leaned forward, looking at us through the front windshield. His face looked sad and my heart ached, wishing things had been different between us. If only they would have handled the situation like adults, none of this would have happened.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Do you want me to tell him to leave?”

  I shook my head. Was he here to tell me he was sorry? Did he want us to have a father-daughter relationship? I had to find out. Not only did I owe it to myself, but to him as well. “No, let me see what he wants.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” I eased from behind him. “But if he tries to pull me in the car, you better save me. I’m not going back home.”

  Raven took my hand and pulled me next to him. “Don’t worry,” he traced his finger down my cheek, “I won’t let him take you. Not this time.”

  “You promise?” I stared into his eyes, searching for the answer I wanted to hear most. “Because you didn’t come for me last time.”

  “Lexi, I promise I’ll never let you out of my life.” Raven closed his eyes and pulled me close. Enveloped tightly in his arms, he pressed his lips to my forehead. Through that one kiss, he transferred every care, all hi
s concern, and most of all, the love he had for me. I knew he would never let me go again.

  “Let me see what he wants,” I muttered against his chest. “I’ll be right back.”

  Raven released me, but kept a firm grip on my hand. I moved forward, keeping ahold of his hand until his fingers slipped from my reach. I straightened as I approached my dad’s car, but with each step I took, my feet seemed to get heavier. I broke out in a cold sweat despite the cold air that blew across my face and swept through my hair. I told myself I had nothing to be afraid of, but the images of how he pulled me into the house when Raven took me home were all too recent.

  “Hey, Josh!” Raven yelled as I walked toward my dad’s car. I assumed Raven was preparing in case he had to swoop in and rescue me.

  My dad remained in his car and it made me feel a little more at ease. He rolled down the window and rested his arm along the door. “Hey, princess.”

  At those words, my heart did a double beat and my eyes instantly watered. I blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. I cleared my throat, hoping my emotions weren’t going to give me away. “You haven’t called me that in a long time.”

  “Maybe I should’ve never stopped.” He smiled at me and then winked with his left eye; his signature expression that got me every time.

  Instead of stopping at a safe distance, I found myself right at his door, wanting to feel his hugs — the only kind a daddy can give.

  “Why did you?” I crossed my arms over my body, trying to hold myself together.

  He stared at the ground for a moment before looking back at me. “I guess I thought you were too big for me to call you that.”

  Tears formed and I quickly sniffed them away. “I’ll never be too big for that name.”

  “Good, because I’d really like to call you that more often.” He inclined his head toward me and I felt horrible about everything. I knew my dad all too well. He did whatever it took to appease my mom, but I couldn’t help but wonder why he never stood his ground. Her ways weren’t always right, regardless of whether she thought it was to protect us. “Do you think we could go somewhere and talk for a while?”

  I nodded and smiled at him. “Sure. Give me just a minute.” I dried my tear-streaked face with my palms and walked back toward Raven.

  Raven hadn’t moved from his position, keeping a keen eye on my dad and me. Josh stood next to him with Shelby behind him. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. I’m going to go with him so we can talk. I’ll be back later.”

  Raven eyed me suspiciously. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” I let out a long breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “I’ll be fine. I really do want to talk to him.”

  Uncrossing his arms, Raven relaxed his shoulders. “Do you want me follow you in my car?”

  A low laugh escaped my lips. Raven really was trying to protect me and it was so sweet. “No, it’s okay. I’ve got my phone and some money.” I held up my wristlet. “I’m good.”

  Raven turned to Josh and he shrugged. Then he stepped up to me. “Okay. Let me know if I need to come get you.”

  “I will.”

  We exchanged a kiss and then I walked back to my dad’s car and got in, noticing a huge stack of clothes in the back seat.

  “Ready?” Dad smiled at me as I clicked my seatbelt.

  “Yes.” I smiled at him, feeling the dryness of the tears that had stained my face. “What’s with all the clothes?” I turned around and noticed they were my clothes along with a couple of bags.

  “You didn’t take much with you, so I had Luke help me gather a few of your things.”

  “More like my whole closet.” I reached over and shuffled through them. “Thanks.” In all honesty, a part of me was glad that I wouldn’t have to go home to get my belongings, but another part kind of felt sad. Like my dad was confirming the fact that my mom disowned me.

  “You’re welcome. So, where to? Do you want to get something to eat?”

  I adjusted the strap across my chest. “Well, I already ate.”

  “Okay. We can go to the mall, or —”

  “Dad, you hate shopping,” I reminded him.

  He waved off my comment. “I know, but this is about you. Not me.”

  I reached for his hand and he took my hand in his. “No, it’s about us.”

  His eyes glistened and the wrinkles around his eyes appeared. At that moment, I hadn’t realized how much my dad had aged. Silver framed his face, his dark hair quickly turning a salt and pepper color. He and Luke looked so much alike, but his bright blue eyes they shared were now a paler blue.

  “You’re right, it is.” He squeezed my hand. “I don’t care where we go, I’d just like to spend some time with my baby girl.”

  The threat of tears inundated me once more. I took a deep breath, pushing the emotion back. “How about we go to the duck pond down the road?”

  “Like the one I used to take you and Luke to when you were little?”

  “Yes.”

  “Sounds perfect.” Dad shifted the car into drive and we circled around the parking lot. I gave a small wave to Raven to let him know that everything was okay. I watched him for a moment, waiting to see if he was going to follow us, but we turned onto the street and Raven disappeared from my view. I knew I had nothing to worry about; my dad was trying to mend things between us. And for that, I was grateful.

  We stopped at the corner store and bought a loaf of bread before going to the park. Luckily, there were some Mallard ducks floating in the water, catching the afternoon sunrays. We sat on a nearby bench and opened the bread.

  “I saw the press conference last week. How is Raven taking everything?” Dad handed me a few slices.

  Wow.

  My dad had actually been following PHU football? That was a first for him, since he was a huge baseball fan — living and breathing baseball while encouraging Luke to do the same.

  “As good as he can, I guess.” I tossed a few pieces into the water. “I mean… he was disappointed that he didn’t get to play in the bowl, but he did meet with the academic board today.”

  Dad popped his head in my direction. “He did? What happened?”

  I hesitated for a second, wondering how much information I should divulge. Remembering the media would be featuring his story by the end of the day, I figured my dad would find out regardless. “It was good. They’re going to allow him to play.”

  “That’s great news.” An appeasing smile appeared across his lips. “I’m happy for him.”

  I froze, holding a piece of bread midair. Had I heard my dad correctly? Something had definitely changed. He sounded like he was rooting for Team Raven, taking an opposing side to my mom’s quest for Team Collin.

  “Seriously?” I lowered my arm.

  A low chuckle filtered through my dad’s smile. “Look, Lexi, I’ve come to realize that you’re going to see Raven whether we approve of him or not.” His smile turned serious and he inched closer toward me. “I just want the best for you and if being with him makes you happy, then I guess I have to accept it.”

  “What about mom?” I took a tough swallow, feeling the tightness in my throat. “Does she agree with you?”

  Dad looked away, keeping a steady eye on the ducks pooling around the edge of the pond. He tossed a few more pieces of bread into the water. “No. Unfortunately not.”

  “She doesn’t know you’re here with me, does she?”

  He shook his head. “Just because your mother is being hardheaded doesn’t mean we can’t talk.”

  My throat relaxed. He was right. And I was glad that he was finally doing what he knew was right, despite what my mom was probably telling him. “Thanks, Dad. That means a lot to me.”

  “I’m sorry, Lexi. I’m sorry that I didn’t stand up for you and that I allowed your mom to take over. It’s just that… well, it’s a long story. One you don’t need to worry about. You have to understand that you’re my daughter and I want what’s best for you, in any f
orm that may be. I know we’re not perfect and we all have our faults, but I applaud for you being there for Raven. Sticking by his side through his tough times shows me how selfless you really are and what you must feel for this guy. So, if you choose to be with him, I accept that.”

  “Oh, Dad, thank you!”

  My dad’s eyes watered and he hesitated for a moment before leaning forward and gathering me in his arms. I embraced him, holding on to him like never before. His arms comforted me, just like when I was little. It was an affection I could never forget. I needed my dad’s support. Being with Raven was tough at times and I knew it would take a lot of perseverance as I walked with him down his winding path. Having a parent by my side would make it easier for me.

  “I love you, princess. Don’t you ever forget it.”

  “I love you, too, Dad.” Tears flooded my eyes and it felt so good to finally let go of all that negative energy.

  “Looking back, I understand why you didn’t approve of me being with him. From the outside, Raven doesn’t appear to be the right one for me. He has a past, as you know, and still struggles with walking the right path, but he cares for me and shows me how it feels to be loved. Collin never did that. I couldn’t be with a guy that was afraid to show me how he felt about me, much less marry him. With Raven, there’s no question. I don’t doubt his love for me.”

  “Then why did he break up with you and go and get drunk and drugged up?”

  “He only got wasted because Mom convinced him that he wasn’t right for me. He drank to forget about the pain of leaving me and while he was drunk, someone slipped a pill in his drink.”

  Dad narrowed his eyes. “Are you sure he’s —”

  “I know. At first, I thought it was a lie. But when his friend showed me a picture, that someone happened to take, of a guy dropping a few pills in his drink, I knew Raven was telling me the truth. Someone drugged him, purposefully. He did consume too much alcohol, but he didn’t take those pills intentionally. He’s been trying really hard to stay clean and… well, I want to help him do that.”